Mom Burnout - Is it possible to be a good mother and have a career?

It’s 11:09 am on a Tuesday morning. I’m still in my pajamas, and I’ve went back to bed once already, hoping a catnap will give me a spark of energy. Anxiety, fear, and confusion have been running through my mind for weeks. Feelings of incompetence weigh heavy on my heart, and I can honestly say that I’ve never felt more lost.

I can’t go on like this.

The pressures of running a cleaning business during a pandemic, overseeing my children’s homeschooling, and trying to keep the household functioning in a normal manner are making me feel like my head is going to explode.

When I’m working, I feel guilty because I’m not at home to help my youngest kids (10 and 16 years old) with their school. I worry the teachers think I don’t care about their education.

When I’m home, I stress about the bills and whether I’ll have enough money to make ends meet.

I’m never fully present in either situation.

Can SAM-e Really Help With Depression & Anxiety?

Are you tired of feeling tired? Do you struggle to make it through the day? Do you feel like a cloud of overwhelming hopelessness is hanging over your head? 

If so, you might be depressed.

No doubt, there are plenty of reasons to get the blues right now.

The world feels shaky and chaotic. 

Millions of people have lost jobs due to COVID-19. The way we interact in society has drastically changed. We have lost simple human connection. (I find myself not making eye contact with other shoppers in the grocery store because my smile doesn’t show through my mask.) Civil unrest makes us feel that we are more divided than ever. Food shortages and an overwhelmed healthcare system add to our anxiety.  

Oh, and I forgot to mention the extreme natural disasters taking place all over the world. The overall theme of 2020 is fear.

Sometimes it just takes a heart-to-heart conversation with a good friend to feel better. But what if it’s deeper than that?

My New Intro Video!

My Three-day Fasting Experience

Are you considering a prolonged water fast? I recently completed one and created a video journal to document my experience. It wasn't as difficult as I'd imagined it would be, until day three! 

There are so many benefits to fasting! Have you fasted? I'd love to hear how it went for you, and whether you continued to utilize fasting. Please feel free to share in the comment section!

Psychological Thriller Giveaway on Goodreads...

I've been busy building my author website - www.rashelllashbrook.com and neglecting Poppy Juice. My apologies to anyone left still following me. I promise with spring will come posts about the garden and the chickens that we are going to keep in our little urban homestead. Everything has a season, and for this moment, my season consists of learning all about self-publishing and book promotion. 

I wanted to announce the Goodreads giveaway that I'm currently running from March 1st through March 8th. Ten lucky winners will get an autographed, first edition copy of my book, Hidden in the Dark!  (Warning - book is full of adult content - NOT for the faint of heart!) 

Are psychological thrillers not your thing? Feel free to share the link with your friends!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Hidden in the Dark

by Rashell Lashbrook

Giveaway ends March 08, 2017.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway

Thanks and Happy reading!!!

Self Publishing - (My Learning Curve Looks More Like a Hairpin)

The old saying goes something like, "The more I learn, the less I know".  

During my recent journey to publish my novel, this little saying has popped into my mind nearly a thousand times. 

As I've taken each step, I've become aware of things that I didn't even contemplate before. (Who knew a query letter was even a thing?) 

When I began the process of throwing words onto paper and rearranging them repeatedly, I had an ignorantly, blissfully, sweet way of viewing this thing called "getting published". 

I thought it would be as simple as creating a great story, picking an agent (little did I know the approval process would be the other way around), and finding a publisher.  Ta-dah! I would be a best selling author! Wasn't I precious?  

Fast forward four, or five, years later and my awareness has changed. 

Write a great novel- Check. 

Pick an agent - Leave blank. This may not happen quickly. I am a researcher. I've done my homework. 

To be completely honest, I haven't even approached one single agent. I think I've nearly talked myself out of it at this stage of the game. The word on the street is that for someone like me (never published, minuscule social media platform) finding a good agent at this point will be as easy as winning the figure skating competition in the Olympics after the winter of rest that I've enjoyed.

Ignored Creative Urges Equals Destruction

First, I should preempt what I'm about to say with this - I believe all human beings are creative creatures, in some form or fashion. We tend to think of artists, musicians, writers, and the like when referring to a "creative soul". The very act of creating something, to bring something into existence, to cause something as a result of one's actions, includes a vast number of things that we do in our everyday life. 

Artists don't have the market on creativity. An engineer is creative when designing a structure. An attorney is creative when designing a game plan to win a case. The urban gardener's creativity flows abundantly when designing a companion planting plot. 

When you are being creative, you can feel it in your entire body. It feels like an adventure!

In a video, a few days ago, I talked about the soul's need to dream. Not only do we need to have dreams, we also need to be creative. The creative soul not allowed to create will become destructive.  We have a vast amount of energy designed just to create. If this energy is bottled up, or leached away by the demands of life, we become negative and destructive.

Are You Letting Someone or Something Steal Your Dreams?

I've had a message heavy on my heart lately and feel compelled to write about it. But time has been in short supply over the past week as I've been busy preparing my book for publishing. I decided to make a short video instead! Do you have a dream thief in your life? How do you deal with the challenges of keeping your goals and dreams alive?

If I Succeed, Will I Have to Sacrifice My First Born Child?

Do you have invisibilitis? 

In case you aren't familiar with the disease, it is a debilitating condition that renders the afflicted weakened and benign, often afraid to shine too brightly or sing too loudly.  Just for the record, I have a slight case of invisibilitis....

Okay, I might have made the word up, so don't go pestering Google. You probably won't find anything. 

The condition flares up, like a bad case of diarrhea, whenever I threaten to do something truly magnificent. Invisibilitis manifests itself as the deep, irrational fear that IF I succeed (for example, my novel is a hit), THEN something equally awful will happen (one of my children will be picked off by the imaginary vultures in the sky, or I'll get cancer).

How Important is a Social Following For a New Author?

My unfinished manuscript, last year at this
time <3

Do you have a soundtrack in your mind? Some of you might be scratching your head and wondering what in the heck I'm talking about. But I suspect most of you know exactly what I mean. For those who don't - let me explain.

For example, when I'm in the grocery store during rush hour AND Miss Slow Poke is taking her sweet time in front of the exact section that I NEED to be in.....the song that plays in my soundtrack is "Move Bit@# Get Out Da Way" by Ludacris. (Don't judge, I didn't write the song.) Or, when I'm feeling overwhelmed, "Under Pressure" by Queen/David Bowie plays in my head. And so, the list goes on. 

Today, my soundtrack is on repeat with The Pointer Sisters' "I'm So Excited!" I don't know if the song has an exclamation point at the end of it on the album, but in my head, it does! 

This week has been a big week for me. I finally agreed with myself on a title to my new novel AND yesterday, we (my social media guy and I) launched my author Facebook fan page. 

Since I am not a published author, I feel like I'm venturing into unknown land with a pocketful of handwritten maps given to me by a bunch of folks who have been to the destination taking various routes. 

All the advice has been a little overwhelming. And the big, famous authors, the ones who are there already, haven't exactly left detailed maps with little provision stations along the way. It's good though. It's a journey of faith in my writing, belief in myself, and belief in the consistent hard work required to accomplish any worthwhile goal. 

I've read and listened to a great deal of advice on the subject of "getting published". One thing that I continue to see is that the landscape has changed recently in the publishing world. No longer is it enough to write a great book, find a literary agent and wait for the agent to find a publisher. 

Social media has changed so many aspects of our world, and book publishing is not immune to its influence. 

Now, a writer must also have a platform. The publisher wants to know that the author is marketable, that they come with a fan base. I find it distressing in some ways, but also encouraging. 

On the downside, it is sad to think that a writer of amazing talent could possibly be passed over just because he or she hasn't taken the time to develop their social media presence. 

However, the positive voice in my head (almost always the loudmouth in the group) says, "Wonderful! You have the opportunity to create an edge and to be noticed!" 

If a platform, or a following on social media can make me more appealing to a potential agent and/or publisher, then I can have some influence in the likelihood that my novel(s) will be published! 

I may not be the most brilliant person on the face of the earth, but I am creative and above all, I am a very hard worker. I can do this! And that, my friends, is why the song, "I'm So Excited" is playing in my head on repeat.

What? I'm Supposed to Find Fans for a Book That's Not Published Yet?

While I'm so excited to be done with the first phase of my book, the realization hit me today that I've got a long road ahead of me in the process of finding a publisher! My vlog from today.

Am I a DIY Fraud?

Photo credit to Caylie Harris -
Taken of me at my favorite
thinking spot - next to my
writing desk

Because my novel is in a holding pattern, and I have a little down time, I was looking over the history of my little blog. 

Wow! I was all over the place! It's interesting to look through the posts and remember my excitement to share an idea or "how-to". And frankly, I'm a little intimidated by my former self! 

"Former Me" made her own laundry detergent, dishwasher detergent, egg noodles, sour dough bread, non-toxic cleaning solution and she grew huge gardens!

Fast forward to present day - I still grow a garden, but I'm completely hooked on Finish brand dishwasher detergent, we almost never eat bread, my pasta maker hasn't been out of the cabinet in over a year, and Mr. Clean Gain Scent is my spirit animal. I should be ashamed. 

I've realized that I'm a conqueror. For me, the challenge of learning a skill is more exciting than continuing to practice the skill. I love to know HOW to do things, love to know HOW things work. But to continue to do those things day in and day out? Hmmm....not so much.

Why is it so Hard to Name this Baby? (Finding a Title for My Novel)

No, I'm not pregnant, at least not with a human child. 

Naming my children was so much easier than naming my novel. It's sporting a temporary title for now, of course. But no one, and I mean no one, in my group of beta readers got the title. I purposely picked beta readers MUCH smarter than me. Soooo.... that means I need a new title!

Turns out, naming a novel is much more difficult than naming a baby. 

First of all, you shouldn't name your novel the same name as anyone else's novel.  There isn't any honor in naming your book after another famous work. 

Secondly, the title should actually be connected to your story in some way. No matter how much I like the sound of "Genny Carter's Underwear Drawer", it won't work because it has nothing to do with my story. 

Thirdly, while the title shouldn't give away the plot line, it should result in an "Ah ha" moment for the reader after they have finished the story.

My Off the Grid Fantasy

The forecast is calling for a severe ice storm over the next twenty-four hours, as in the kind of ice storm that snaps power lines and makes travel impossible. 

On my Facebook feed, my friends' responses range from "Oh no! Praying it passes us!" to "Yeah! Bring out the chain saw and the rock salt!" 

Once the news of the impending storm hit, I started getting an excited, tingling feeling. Mr. Man-of-the-House is right there with me! The threat of a storm brings out the very best in him. We spent yesterday making soups (in case we lose power), bringing enough firewood into the house and garage to get us through until spring, and stocking up on kerosene and candles.  

Oh, and just in case we do lose power, we did all the laundry. Going without electricity for days would mean no washer and dryer.

As all forecasts invariably do, the prediction of when and how much ice we will be getting began to change. As the projected amounts of ice dropped from an inch to a half an inch, my heart began to sink a little. 

Yes, I know, that's still a lot of ice. Yes, I know that great amounts of property damage can ensue from an ice storm. I understand that there are people who will have to get out on the bad roads and risk their lives to go to jobs that they cannot miss. I'm ashamed to admit that I'm still praying for a big ice storm. 

The Magic Jar (the Power of Positive Thinking)

Happy New Year! Yes, I know I'm a few days late but I've been more than a little distracted from my humble blog lately. And by lately, I meant to say at least a year or so. 

2016 was a year of soul searching, but not in an earth shattering, mind-melting sort of way. 

Rather, the voice in my head began to sound something like this, "What are you doing with your life?",  "When are you going to do something that actually matters?", and "You DO realize that your life is probably half over, don't you?"

How to Survive the Stay at Home Mom (or Dad) Experience

  

22 Things You Should Know About Being a SAHM 

Before I had children, I had a romantic view of what kind of parent I would be. I fantasized about peaceful days of organized bliss. I imagined my children engaged in stimulating activities created for the purpose of developing their brains and fine motor skills. 

Our home would be clean and full of beautiful things - something out of a Martha Stewart Living magazine. I just knew that I would get up early and have all my housecleaning done before my little darlings woke up so I would be able to devote all my attention to them. 

I’d finally have time to try new recipes and maybe even take up scrapbooking. I couldn’t wait until they were old enough to go on field trips and playdates. 

And I always wore something white and elegant in my fantasies. Funny right?

Need Something? Consider Bartering For It!

Update - It is now 2020, and bartering is more relevant than ever! With so many jobs lost, we are looking for new ways to get the things we need. Why not consider one of the oldest forms of trade?

For many of us who are on a limited budget (willingly or otherwise) there are just some items or services that we don't feel justified paying for.  

For us, bartering has been very helpful at times.  I am committed to bartering more often in 2012 as I believe it could help save us even more money. 

What is Bartering?

Bartering is very simply defined as trading goods or services without the exchange of money.  Bartering has been used by humans since the beginning of time and is likely used on some level by most of us today.   When I offer to cook dinner for my adult kids in exchange for lawn care, that is bartering! 

Excluding trades with my family, some of the items or services I've bartered for in the past are as follows -

• Evening babysitting for a haircut and color
• Garden produce in exchange for eggs
• Garden produce in exchange for plums and apples
• Babysitting in exchange for babysitting
• Homemade bread in return for eggs
• Homemade grape jam in exchange for grapes

I really haven't pursued bartering as much as I plan to this year.  I've noticed that Craigslist http://www.craigslist.org/ has a barter section with a variety of services and items.   

When I looked earlier today, I found land, prom dresses, tools, computers, homes and assorted other items.  I've seen all sorts of services put up for trade, too.   I'd venture to say that for virtually any skills or goods you have, you'd be able to find someone to trade with! 

But What Can You Offer?

Use your imagination when thinking of things or services to barter.  What do you have to offer?  This list might help stimulate your imagination - 

• babysitting services
• wallpaper hanging services
• crafty type skills
• setting up a web page
• tax preparation
• sewing services
• floral arranging
• laundry services
• housecleaning services
• garden produce
• excess fruit from your trees
• homemade bread or noodles
• jams, jellies or other preserves
• cake decorating
• home or office organizing
• typing services
• catering services
• entertainment services (do you sing or perform in some way?)
• items no longer in use in your home
• any special skill that you might have from previous job experience OR
• consider offering your current job/business services on the side for trade

As you can see, there are multiple opportunities to barter.   You can make arrangements amongst your friends and acquaintances or advertise. 

Beware Uncle Sam!
One word of caution, the I.R.S. considers bartering as income so be sure to know the guidelines.  You can check them out at the following link -

Bartering Income - IRS

As you can see, bartering is taxable.  However, to the best of my knowledge, giving a gift to a friend on the same day that they give you a gift in return, isn't taxable.  That is a fine line that can be walked carefully.  

Once more word of caution, a bartering service is under much more scrutiny by the government so before you get all enthused about organizing something for all your friends, make sure you don't appear to be a bartering service or broker.

I'd love to hear about your bartering experiences! 

Have a great day!